Eric's Story

Horrible news out of Ohio, and yet another tragic example of why clearly defined bullying policies are absolutely necessary to protect children from violence. Eric Mohat, 17, was tormented so much that his parents believe it drove him to kill himself.

From ABCNews.com:

"...when one bully said publicly in class "Why don't you go home and shoot yourself, no one will miss you," he did.

Now his parents, William and Janis Mohat of Mentor, Ohio, have filed a lawsuit in federal court, saying that their son endured name-calling, teasing, constant pushing and shoving and hitting in front of school officials who should have protected him.

The lawsuit -- filed March 27, alleges that the quiet but likable boy, who was involved in theater and music, was called "gay," "fag," "queer" and "homo" and often in front of his teachers. Most of the harassment took place in math class and the teacher -- an athletic coach -- was accused of failing to protect the boy.

"When you lose a child like this it destroys you in ways you can't even describe," Eric Mohat's father told ABCNews.com."

For the rest of the heartbreaking article, please click here.

Ohio is all-too-similar to North Carolina in that it has no statewide anti-bullying policy with enumerated categories. Our friends at Equality Ohio have this to say about their state policy and the similar struggle they've had with getting this legislation passed:

Ohio does not have a broad law to prevent school bullying. Ohio also does not have a law preventing discrimination in education based on sexual orientation or gender identity.

In 2006 the Ohio Legislature passed House Bill 276 that required the 723 school districts across Ohio to develop anti-bullying policies on their own. This bill was signed into law without the need for enumerated categories of protection. Equality Ohio and a coalition of organizations testified before the Ohio Senate Committee on Education to try to include these important protections.

Eric committed suicide in 2007. Just three months after his death, his high school adopted an anti-bullying policy with enumerated categories (including sexual orientation), which we found in their Parent/Teacher Handbook. If Ohio, or Eric's school district, had taken precautionary steps to protect him and millions of other students from this sort of targeted bullying, it is possible Eric might still be alive.

Shouldn't North Carolina adopt this kind of effective policy before another student kills himself or snaps and shoots classmates?

While our coalition is working very hard on getting this legislation passed, there are things you can do in the meantime - as parents, friends, educators, or administrators - to learn more about how to effectively help victims of bullying at SafeYouth.org.

Our hearts go out to the Mohat family, and all victims of bullying, and we commend the Mohat family for using this tragedy to draw attention to this serious problem in our schools and to create more effective legislation regarding school anti-bullying policies.

We urge you to contact your legislators to make sure that they support the School Violence Prevention Act (House Bill #548 / Senate Bill #526). You can look up your legislators and email them here.

Jason's Story

I've gotten bullied three times at school. Once, someone punched me in the face. I've gotten put down and called retarded and stupid. One time, after I got bullied, I ran away from school. I went to my dad's house but the school came looking for me with the police. I got sent to Dorothea Dix because I kept running away from school and they thought I was crazy.

Special thanks to the Disabled Young People's Collective for gathering stories for this blog.

Sen. Julia Boseman Speaks on School Violence Prevention Act

Gabriel's Story

My name is Gabriel, and at the age of three I was diagnosed with Autism. I was a special education student, and while I was in middle school I had a paraprofessional who aided me with simple tasks and helped me around class. I had built a strong friendship with my para for over three years, until one morning when I was in the eighth grade. I asked my para about her opinion on same sex civil unions. My para is a born again Christian and she told me that she was so disgusted when the state legalized same sex civil unions that she wanted to move. She also told me that homosexuality is disgusting and that she would disown any of her children that were LGBT. My para had brainwashed me into believing that homosexuality was wrong and disgusting. Inside I felt horrible and believed that it was my fault for being bisexual. I knew at that point that it wasn't a matter of "if" our friendship would end; it was just a matter of "when.” Being a bisexual student I was put in a Catch 22, I had to decide if I was going to continue the three year friendship that I had built with her or if I was going to live my life the way I wanted to. After months of deliberation, I decided not to conform to her beliefs. As a result, the three year friendship that I had built with my para ended. To this day she will not even speak to me.

During my freshmen year, a girl would always steal my lunch. Every time she took my lunch she would force me to tell my entire lunch table (which had about 12 students) something about my sexual orientation. When I refused to tell her something she would call a person to the table and they would say something derogatory and mean to me. Even if I did tell them something, she still refused to give me my lunch back. After I asked her to give me back my lunch, she told me, "my boyfriend is black and he is going to kick your ass!" It was really scary especially at the age of 14 seeing so many people gang up on me. Even the captain of the soccer team threatened to beat me up because I told her to not steal my lunch.

Once, a football player pretended to be my boyfriend. However, he had a girlfriend and because my learning disability makes it difficult for me to tell if he was being truthful or not, I gave him the benefit of the doubt. He humiliated me by throwing it in my face that he already had a girlfriend. I was humiliated because of my sexual orientation and my learning disability. I thought I was worth nothing. People at the table laughed at me as if my existence was a joke. Things only got worse when I reported what happened to the Vice Principal. People thought that I was a coward and not man enough to tolerate being humiliated. Students would jeer at me and make fun of me because I asked for help. But when I thought my life was on the line, I had no choice. For months, my self-esteem was shot and I had little hope that I would make it. I had to have an escort walk me from class to class because I was afraid of being attacked.

As a special education student, I felt violated and angry because people have acted like it was my fault that I was bisexual. Losing my friend (the para who I depended on) was very hurtful and at the age of 14, I was still naive. For weeks I was depressed and angry, I never thought that my sexual orientation could do that much harm to me. For years I decided to lock that skeleton in my closet.

However, on Thanksgiving morning I had a flashback to what happened to me three years ago. At that moment, I finally realized that my para and the people I sat with were wrong! I was so young and naïve, I allowed them to manipulate me!

It was then that I realized God doesn't hate homosexuals. If he did, he would not have created me the way that I am. I am who I am, and people need to accept it. Throughout high school people have bullied, harassed, and even evicted me from my own lunch table because of my sexual orientation. My loss three years ago, and my realization that it was not my fault, is empowering me to fight for equality. The fact that I lost my best friend, my paraprofessional, was no longer a loss, but rather a virtue. Without losing friends and being bullied I would not have the courage or strength to rise to this occasion. I am recycling the frustration and anger that I had over my loss three years ago and I am turning it into motivation that will make me determined to fight for equality. "What destroys me is what strengthens me." Everyone has been discriminated, discrimination hurts, discrimination is wrong. I’m working with Equality NC in asking the North Carolina Legislature to pass anti-bullying legislation to protect people like me, and hopefully prevent this same thing from happening to anyone else.

New Poll Shows Overwhelming Support for School Violence Prevention Act

Today Public Policy Polling released a new statewide poll showing that sixty-nine percent of North Carolinians support the School Violence Prevention Act with sexual orientation included in the bill. A majority of every demographic group, including self-identified conservatives and members of both major parties, want legislators to pass this bill into law.

"This poll confirms that only a small portion of North Carolinians opposed safe schools protections that ensure the safety of all students, including those who are perceived to be lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender," said Ian Palmquist. "For that sake of our young people, it's time to do the right thing and pass this bill."

Support for the bill crosses party lines, with 86% of Democrats, 51% of Republicans, and 62% of independent and third-party voters supporting. Strong support was seen in every region of the state and across all age groups and races.

Click here for PPP's post on the results and the polling data.

Mickey's Story

My brother, Mickey, is a year younger than me and two grades behind me. I graduated from high school in 2004, but was there for half of my brother's high school career. We're pictured on the right, displaying brotherly love, at his graduation in 2006. Mickey had everything going for him - he was a budding basketball player, inquisitive, and charming. The summer before my senior year and his sophomore year, he became paralyzed from the chest down overnight. He literally went to sleep, feeling a little dizzy, and woke up the next morning unable to move his legs. This sort of thing doesn't just happen randomly - but somehow, someway, it did. Mickey spent the rest of that summer in hospitals in Charlotte and Winston-Salem trying to figure out what triggered this odd and tragic occurrence.

While doctors attempted to figure out what exactly had happened, my brother dutifully learned how to live life confined to a wheelchair. As his brother, I spent many days and nights in a state of grief for him and all that he would miss out on - especially basketball, at which he was only beginning to flourish.

It wasn't long until school started and Mickey would have to face all of his peers who knew him as a spry, quick little guy, transformed to this seemingly changed incarnation. The only thing is - Mickey hadn't changed. If anything, his changes were for the better. Through the entire process, he was brave, humble and had a sense of humor.

It didn't take long, though, to see that just because of his new physical handicap, others saw him differently. You never realize how much folks stare at physically handicapped people until your brother is one of them. You never realize how obviously people whisper and wonder about him until you're walking down the halls beside him.

Mickey would never share his story. He'd never let others know the pain he felt when those who he thought were his friends became bullies. They, like most bullies, were just kids who couldn't understand his predicament, so instead, they made fun of it. I know it's too painful for Mickey to have to recall what he experienced... Which is why I'm sharing it as someone who saw firsthand the destruction of self that bullying can cause.

When Mickey - against all odds - started moving his toes, and then his feet, and his legs, and his whole body again, our family rejoiced. We couldn't believe it, but he was actually recovering. Now, he was forced to walk with the aid of arm crutches, and eventually a walker until his muscles gained enough mass for him to be stable. If you can believe it - the bullying became worse the more elevated he got. It wasn't until he was walking without any aid that it stopped, and that he was able to see who his true friends were and carry on with his life.

What happened to Mickey physically, albeit interesting, is too long and complicated for this story - and it's beside the point. The point is that the essence of my brother never changed throughout his ordeal, but the attitudes towards him changed drastically. It made an almost unimaginable situation all the more overwhelming and unbearable for him and it was all unnecessary. It just didn't have to be that way.

We must first place protections, like the School Violence Prevention Act, in schools that prohibit bullying of any type. Then, we can only hope that when a bully is stopped for laughing at another kid in a wheelchair, or with red hair, or with a lisp, that the bully will then be forced to ask themselves, or someone else, why they were stopped. It can't take long for that child to see that the reason they were stopped from bullying another kid is because it is just plain wrong.

We can only hope that the legislators who oppose this bill will stop and ask themselves why they are against protecting all students from bullying - especially those most susceptible. And if they foolishly choose to continue their opposition of keeping schools safe for all students, well, then they too, are just plain wrong.

Neena's Story

A few days ago, we shared Kate's story about bullying that she shared at our Press Conference. Below is her mother, Neena's, story, which sheds light on how bullying doesn't just affect those directly targeted - it affects families, friends, and communities. Thanks again to Neena and Kate for speaking up about this issue!

UPDATE: Video now included!

My daughter has shared with you her experiences in our school system. We transferred Kate to a different high school in an effort to find a better environment where she could grow academically. There are improvements, but still she has unnecessarily suffered because of personal prejudices from administrators, teachers, and students.

As a parent, my heart breaks every time Kate comes home and is somewhat withdrawn and then shares a bad experience with me. I worry every day when she goes to school that in spite of her incredible spirit and her ability to work through situations that something will happen. We do not have a bullying policy that protects our children and our experiences within the school system only emphasizes that all schools within the same system are not created equally and that the prejudices, whether consciously or sub-consciously, of teachers and administrators often cause them to turn a blind eye to things that are harmful to our children and get in the way of every child getting the same opportunities for education.

As she shared, she takes on two tasks every time she enters the school doors, one of education, but the second is keeping herself safe, both physically and emotionally in an adverse environment. This is an unreasonable distraction for any young person. All children have the right to a safe and complete education. My daughter should not be an exception.

We need an anti-bullying policy in all schools that is clearly defined and not left up to interpretation by administrators and teachers. Our ability to keep our children safe shouldn’t be a question. This should be the foundation of our education system so that emphasis and efforts can be directed toward improving academically.

Understand that without this legislation that the children that come behind Kate will likely have her same experience. She continues to push forward and because of her incredible spirit she will succeed in life, but it didn’t have to be this difficult and it shouldn’t be this difficult for other children.

Our superintendent told us that we will never have an inclusive anti-bullying policy within our county unless it is state mandated. I am asking our representatives to hear Kate and me and hear our story. I am asking our community and the thousands of parents across North Carolina to support this bill. Regardless of your personal beliefs on any issue, I know that we as parents and members of this community want a safe environment within our schools for every child. Thank you.